A Really Good Weekend

Good things can be really hard. Or hard things can be really good, maybe. This weekend we had a concert celebrating the end of Adam’s cancer treatment…even though he is only 20% done with radiation. (Which finally started – praise God!) We had a hard time getting all the details together, we had a last minute scheduling issue, and none of our family was able to come. Adam is so much better, mentally and physically, but he still has a long way to go to get back to anything resembling where he was this time last year. Our kids are also doing so much better…but they are still adjusting to Adam as parent again. And me? I’m still trying not to be angry about the things I can’t fix and the things that I have to do, largely by myself, because of Adam’s continued fatigue, weakness, and neuropathy issues. Sounds like a recipe for a great time, right? Or maybe a disaster? But it was great. So amazingly great in it’s real life imperfections.
The concert was wonderful and we so enjoyed meeting and chatting with Jeremy Casella, the amazing artist who graced our church with his music. It was emotional – he played a favorite song of mine that was sung at the funeral of a dear friend. I bawled. It was also joyous, musically and socially. We saw friends who’ve been praying for us faithfully for months…and as a church family, we took the chance to take a deep breath and be without worrying. At least, that’s what I did, and I hope everyone else did too. Sometimes life sucks…but God is good all the time (all the time, God is good!). I loved our Veteran’s Day…because I love any day that involves sleeping in and then reading for an hour or two. But after that, I actually got some details around the house taken care of…and it is so freeing to feel vaguely on top of life! I also spent several hours shopping separately with each of my kids. And we all enjoyed all of it! It is amazing! We got new shoes for Ethan amidst extended explanations of the inner workings of the world of Pokemon. His feet are now only 1/2 size smaller than Adam’s…we are calling him Big Foot. He also finally got a haircut. He probably lost two pounds of hair. We were just a bit overdue on that…. Kara and I went shopping and she got a dress that 1. I approve of, 2. she loves, 3. fits correctly and 4. was on clearance!!!!! That never happens. So, yeah, she did decide that her stomach pain was appendicitis…but we got over that. And yeah, the winter coat I got Ethan is too big, so I have to go back again and return it…but it was still a great day with my kids. And we needed that.
It was a weekend of joy with friends, but bittersweet memories of one who is missed here, as she has gained heaven sooner than those here who miss her. She was brought to mind by a song, by a tv show and by the knowledge that she would understand that I like being with my children more now than I ever liked it when they were little. It was a weekend of remembering those who have served all of us by the work and sacrifice in the military – including all four the my kids’ great-grandfathers. A combat Vet and family member thanked me for the inspiration that my blog has been on his personal journey home. I’m humbled by the very idea. I want people to like what I write, but I never imagined that God would use my words to reach and inspire people as He has. It was a weekend of preemptive celebration – cancer treatment isn’t over, but the last phase has finally started, and the end is in sight. And not for nothin’, Adam has felt no side effects at all so far. Talk about a contrast from chemo…. We are doing well and the end of my rope is back in my hand, instead of being barely visible in my rear-view mirror. “One day at a time” feels manageable again, rather than feeling like walking blindly through a sandstorm. So I will enjoy the gift of peace and leave tomorrow’s worries till tomorrow.

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