There are times when I wish that I had an anonymous blog where I could post all the truly profane things that I want to say. And yes, I am wishing that now. I am also refraining from making said anonymous blog so that I have some degree of accountability and motivation to treat people who anger me with grace. I want to go all Julia Sugarbaker on some people whose bad behavior caused many people, Adam included, to lose sleep last night and to spend a large portion of today putting out proverbial fires. Adam was in the middle of his third chemo cycle and needed to sleep. Instead, he worried, prayed, typed, and oh yeah – threw up. I don’t want to be gracious to the people who are now gloating about the bad behavior. I want to verbally excoriate them. I want to rip them a new one. I want them to see the banshee in all her fury. I want them to hurt. Because we all hurt. But grace isn’t about not having a temper tantrum when we are pleased with someone. Grace is about choosing to show love to those who deserve our displeasure. It is about seeking to confront humbly, to reconcile and restore relationships. It is about refusing to indulge in self-satisfied rants, even when our attempts at reconciliation are rebuffed. It is HARD. And I haven’t succeeded. I have ranted to a few chosen friends, for whom I am soooo grateful, by the way. I have been profane. But by God’s grace, I have prayed too. For restoration, for grace, for patience, for forgiveness. For an end to the conflict and the gossip about it. And for a change of heart for all of the offenders – every one of us. Because grace would be so much easier if we weren’t all such complete…well, you know.