Well…this sucks…

Yesterday was Adam’s first day of chemo and the side effects started while he was still at the cancer center. So far he has, ahem, digestive issues – mostly nausea – and extreme cold sensitivity. Like, cold drinks hurt and washing his hands with cold water feels like plunging them in ice. He also doesn’t want to eat or drink anything, which he really needs to do. On the other hand, I want to eat constantly, which I really need not to do. So here we are for the second day. He was given more nausea meds and a bag of fluids, so hopefully he’ll be more comfortable today and tonight. He is sleeping now, and that should also help a lot.
I was reflecting as I walked in to the building that though I know I am blessed to be able to say that my husband is not dying of cancer – many people here can’t say that – this still really sucks. Chemo is horrible. It is a blessing, it is a miracle – without modern medicine, Adam would be dying right now – but it exacts a high price. I don’t know what the coming days, weeks, and months will bring, but I do know they won’t be among our favorites. I am thankful for the wonderful staff here – it can’t be easy for them to now that to help their patients in the long run, they must hurt them first – and I am thankful for the treatments that will hopefully cure Adam’s cancer. But damn, I am already ready for it to be over. And my loathing of this is a poor second to Adam’s. Pray for him, for me, for our kids, and for peace – for all of us. Cancer sucks.

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4 thoughts on “Well…this sucks…

  1. Adam says:

    Reblogged this on Help My Unbelief and commented:
    Thoughts from my wife…

  2. Gloria Tisdale says:

    So sorry all of you are having to go through this. Prayers are sent every moment of every
    day for peace and relief from all of the effects of chemo.

  3. Praying. God will get y’all through this just like He has gotten you through what you once thought were the MOST DIFFICULT times. Rely on HIS STRENGTH when you have none. Cry (scream, shout, whine, …) to GOD and others because He/we care and LOVE you. We need to hear because we need to know how to pray specifically for your needs. I am thankful for your blog. I love you and HATE CANCER too!

  4. ashlie says:

    Praying for ya’ll Lydia. Thank you so much for writing. We just found out a dear friend of ours has a tumor in his colon that has to be removed. Your stories are giving grace and strength for the new ones yet to unfold. Thank you both for being so honest and open…seeing the good God gives in the midst of the suffering. We love and pray for you from afar!

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