Today was the first time that we went out as a family since Adam’s official diagnosis on Thursday. My dear friend from college was still here, and we all went to church where Adam preached his last pre-surgery sermon. I’m not going to lie. I cried a lot. I told lots of people not to be too nice to me. I looked at the ceiling the whole time I was singing in the choir. Child the elder, who was sitting next to me while child the younger sat with a friend, got lots of hugs. I explained things to concerned friends, I made bad jokes, I got lots of hugs, and I still felt like I might throw up most of the time. This was my lovely day. Seriously. As we were driving to the airport, my friend asked if church was good for me. My answer was an unequivocal yes. I may have felt many sad at many moments, and perhaps the immediacy of my fears increased at times, but none of that compared to how loved I felt. We have a small church, but our church family members have huge hearts. They laughed at the bad jokes, cried at the sad news, hoped in the knowledge of God, and offered to do anything and be anywhere to help us at anytime. It was a day full of love. I am so thankful for all of you – those who I know and those who I don’t – who are praying for us, cooking for us, watching our children, sitting in waiting rooms with us, hating detestable things with us, and otherwise walking with us on this painful part of our journey. Tomorrow I take Adam in for pre-testing and a liver ultrasound. We haven’t had much good news from doctors in the last week, and I am nervous. Pray the ultrasound wouldn’t show anything scary and that we would both have peace tonight and tomorrow. Also pray for the children: they are doing well, but they are scared and a little fragile.
And be nice to us…but not too nice…it makes me cry! And my mascara keeps running….